Sunday, April 29, 2007

"I like that song by The Fratellis"
He picks up a glass and polishes it. I do the same.
"That song by The Fratellis, huh?"
"Yeah. You know the one on the ipod advert"
"Would you say that's your favourite song of all time?"
"No"
"No?"
"No. My favourite song is 'Hey Jude' by The Beatles"
"By The Beatles, eh? Not sure I know that one"
"Classic song, man. You should check it out"
"I might just do that. Thanks for the tip!"
"What's your favourite song then?"
"Oh, I don't know. I like anything and everything really"
"Tell you what: I'll make you a CD"
"A CD?"
"Yeah, a mixed CD. Put some classic tunes on there for you, educate you in the ways of music"
"Well that would be super. Thanks, man"
"No worries. Pass me another glass"
"Sure"

I work with idiots.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Last night I worked at the McLaren Test Centre in Woking.
They were launching a new car, priced at about £450,000.
There were lots of insanely rich people there. Draped in gold and silk. Smoking cigars and eating cheese.
They were all getting in the car and making the roof go up and down. Laughing hysterically. I stood watching, waiting for them to go home so I could clear up.
My New Best Friend Leon came over to stand with me. He handed me a chocolate truffle he'd stolen from the kitchen. I thanked him.
"Makes you sick doesn't it?" I said
"What?"
"They've got more money to spend on one car than we'll ever have in our lifetime"
"Oh well. At least we get to spit in their soup"
"That's true"


Been working most of the week. It's tiring. I had today off so I drank a lot of tea and watched Shipwrecked. Working again tomorrow. What have I become?