Near Death Experience lol

Yeah, I nearly died today (sort of). Here's the story:

I was passing a bus stop (with a bus at it) on Oxford Street when there was this MASSIVE loud noise- like an explosion. Then all this smoke started coming out of the bus. Naturally my first thought was "oh good another terrorist attack" and everyone else seemed to have the same thought as we all started running for our lives. Problem was that there were many, many people and we all ended up crushed against a shop front. Everyone was screaming and it was fucking terrifying. But then the bus drove off and I was like "What?". People started walking away. I was like "What?". I turned to the girl standing next to me and said "What? What just happened?" and she told me.
Turns out some jokers lit a firework and threw it under the bus.
There was a crowd gathering around something so I asked the girl what that was about and all.
She said: "Everyone turned around and ran and this old woman got knocked over and trampled on. She hit her head. She's got a walking stick and everything- those bastards"

I went on my way shaking like mad.

How stupid do you have to be to do something like that? Not only was it totally dangerous but it also made hundreds of people think they were about to die.
You just don't do that on Oxford Street. Everyone is well jumpy ever since that day when it all kicked off. How fucking stupid do you have to be?

Well, that ruined my day. Oh, and on the tube home there was this abandoned Twirl chocolate bar on the seat opposite me and I was convinced that it was a bomb and drove myself half mental. How ridiculous.

They turned on the Christmas lights today. It's the 7th of November for crying out loud! What a world.

Yeah!

There is a 'shocking' story on The Sun's website today.
It's about this fifteen-year-old girl off the X Factor. She's the token sad sack because she nearly died of this illness a few years ago- but her love of singing pulled her through or whatever. She can't sing for shit but everyone loved her.
Until now.
Turns out she's not such a nice girl. She's in a gang (her gang name is Lady Shiverz). She threatens to cut out people's eyes. She's been caught on camera "battering" a random girl.
I am looking forward to hearing her excuse. Was she rehearsing for a play? Was she possessed by the devil? Did the girl call her mum a prostitute?

Whatever she says, she's getting voted off on Saturday.

Speaking of X Factor- it's the worst thing on television at the moment (apart from Dragon's Den, Loose Women, Most Haunted, Honey We're Killing the Kids, Market Kitchen, anything with Gordon Ramsay in it). I hate everything about it- the contestants, the judges, the songs, the audience, the voiceover, the opening credits, the adverts they play between breaks, Sharon Osbourne's hair, face and voice.
It is disgusting, a joke of a show obviously all set up to finally make Simon Cowell the RICHEST MAN IN DA WORLD EVA and it is extremely insulting to our intelligence. And it's the nation's favourite programme. Huh.

Update: Surprise surprise!

We are all going to die

Reading the news ONLINE this morning something catches my eye:

Warning as tick diseases on rise

OMG tick disease? Ewwww.

The public has been warned to take extra precautions against ticks as the warm weather heralds a peak in numbers of the blood-sucking parasites.

I caught head lice when I was eight. It was horrific. Fucking monsters drinking my blood and itching up my head. It put me off parasites for life. I don't want anything more to do with them.

Then I read:
They are common in woodland, heath land and in particular areas in Scotland where deer graze.
Well that's alright then. I don't spend much time in heath land so I am probably not at risk.
More recently they have also been found in urban parks.
Oh God. Not urban parks! I go to those all the time!

So, apparently they pass on Lyme Disease. Didn't Ms Hoover have that in The Simpsons? What is Lyme Disease?
Lyme disease varies widely but can include a rash and flu-like symptoms in its initial stage, followed by the possibility of musculoskeletal, arthritic, neurological, psychiatric and cardiac problems.

Fuck. That's pretty heavy.
Now I am terrified. Of course- I will get this Lyme Disease. I probably already have it. Shit shit shit. They say that it is severely debilitating and can be fatal. SHIT. What have I done to deserve this?
And how rubbish is that- to be killed by a tiny little insect? What a pathetic way to die. I'd rather be burnt at the stake or shot in a gang war.

For everyone else who is as paranoid as me, here's the Bite Prevention Guide:

Wear trousers tucked into socks
Use insect repellent
Check yourself thoroughly
Check warm folds of the skin
Carefully remove with tweezers
Never burn off
Do not try to drown in Vaseline
Be aware of favoured habitats

Do not try to drown in Vaseline? That's pretty strange. But it's lucky that they told me this as it's probably the first thing I'd think of doing. Before setting myself alight.

So, I've done my bit. Tell all your friends about the dangers of ticks.