Sunday, February 24, 2008

The Tears of A Cow

I am a cow and I live in a zoo. People are not interested in me. They are interested in the monkeys and the penguins. They are also interested in the elephants and giraffes. They are not interested in me. I am just a cow and no one cares.
They don’t even bother putting me in a cage. All I have is a two foot high fence. The fence is what makes me an attraction. If I didn’t have the fence I’d just be a cow on some grass. The fence is there to suggest I am not just a cow- I am an exotic zoo animal. But the fence is fooling no one.
People do not crowd around my enclosure. They don’t take photographs of me. Everyone has seen a cow before. Occasionally someone will say “There’s a cow over there” but then they walk off.
I don’t know why I am even here. I suppose they didn’t have enough animals and I am just making up the numbers.
Often people are angered by my presence. “Why is there a cow here? We can see cows anytime. How endangered are they? Where are the fucking cheetahs?”. I swish my tail and pretend not to hear.
People boo me. They say “boo!” and laugh because it sounds like “moo”. They think they are being witty but they are not.
Sometimes they throw things. Cans, pebbles. At my head.
I have vowed to myself that the next time some joker throws a can at my head or boos me I will kill them. I’ll charge at the fence and tear it down. I’ll stamp on them and all their ugly little friends- killing them dead. How boring will I be then? How run of the mill, how unremarkable, how ordinary, how mundane? If it’s danger they want I’ll bring it. I’ll bring it and they’ll be really fucking sorry.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

What She Will Do When He Returns

She will eat him when he returns.
First she will eat his toes and feet. Then she will eat his ankles, calves and knees. And then she will eat the rest of him. She will eat every single piece of him because she is very hungry. This is her plan.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Under The Bridge

From now on he will live under the bridge.
He will sleep on a bed of cardboard and pigeon feathers.
He will eat rats and glass.
There was a time when he slept on a mattress and ate rice.
But his mattress and rice days are over. From now on he will live under the bridge.
And he will be King of The Bridge.

Late one night, a week into his new life as King of The Bridge, he wakes up to find A Girl standing over him and looking at him.

A Girl is under the bridge because she was walking along the river and happened upon the bridge.

Who are you?
I am A Girl. Who are you?
I am King of The Bridge
Where’s your crown?
It’s over there
Why isn’t it on your head?
Because it was itching me
It doesn’t look much like a crown
Maybe I will rape you
Maybe?
I haven’t decided yet. I probably will though.
If I try to run away now will you catch me and kill me?
Yes
How will you kill me?
I will drown you in the river. I will push your face into the water until you stop moving and then I will have sex with your corpse
Why is there so much blood coming out of your mouth?
I ate some bottles earlier and they were quite sharp
Do you live under the bridge?
Yes
Maybe I will come and live here with you
You could be Queen of The Bridge
I would like that
I would like that too. I’ll fashion you a crown out of these rat tails and bottle caps


And they live under the bridge together until they both die horrible, painful, slow deaths.