"Mouthwash gives me the confidence I need to face the world each morning. Without it I'd just sit in my house crying and slicing myself with knives"

"How does mouthwash make you feel, emotionally?"
My evening was full of questions like this. Because this evening I did some market research thing.
Me and four other girls aged between 16 and 20. We sat in a tiny room with a massive mirror on the wall and microphones hanging from the celling and 'discussed' mouthwash. It was very, very dull.
We talked about what we look for in a mouthwash. We talked about what the best flavours of mouthwash were. We looked at some bottles of mouthwash and commented on their design. We talked about what the ideal mouthwash would be. For hours and hours.
Near the end, the man who was asking the questions leaned in and said "What would you say if I told you that you could buy mouthwash and toothpaste... combined?"
"You must be kidding me, that would be a dream come true!" I cried.
He gave me a nasty look, like I was taking the piss or something. Which, to be fair, I was.

Well I got £60 for my trouble. So I took a walk down to Borders on Oxford Street and bought two Bukowski books: Factotum and Ham on Rye. Brill.

Don't forget to tune in on Thursday to hear all about my surgery and hopefully see some pictures of me with a huge bandage on my face.