I Wrote Something

I wrote something last night. I wrote this:




My Grandma's Houses


My grandma’s house is a bungalow. It is very small and it doesn’t have a garden.
She used to live in a big house. Well, quite big. It had an upstairs. She had two sofas and a garden and a second bedroom for when we stayed the night. She had a big dining table and a hallway.
She was so upset when she had to sell the old house. And she must still be upset because she hates it when you talk about it. If you talk about something that happened there, like:

“Remember that weekend when I was a fortune teller and Peter was my assistant? And I wore your dressing gown and clip on earrings? And we set up that stall in the front garden and put the big umbrella up and I used that paperweight as a crystal ball? And I read Maggie from next door’s palm and she gave me a five pound note and you said I had to share it with Peter and I said I wouldn’t and he ripped it in half and I threw the paperweight at him and knocked him out and he had to go to hospital?”
Or:
“Remember when me and Peter painted a mural on the old bedroom wall? And because Peter spilt paint all over the carpet you said we couldn’t go swimming and I punched him in the face and gave him a black eye? And school sent a social worker round to Auntie Julie’s because they thought he was the victim of child abuse?”

She will just pretend she didn’t hear you.

She moved eleven months ago. To a completely different village. It’s actually closer to us by eight minutes which means the bus ride now takes only 24 minutes. But I would rather it still took 32 minutes because the old house had loads of good hiding places for hide and seek. There are no good hiding places in the new house unless you consider these places good hiding places:
-The bath
-The backyard
-Under the bed
-Behind a door
-On the street

I do not consider them good hiding places. I consider them RUBBISH hiding places.

We were there on the day grandma moved because we were helping to carry stuff to the van. Everyone was there- mum, Auntie Julie, Uncle Johnny, Liz, Liz’s boyfriend, and Maggie from next door. Although mum and Auntie Julie weren’t really helping because they were just walking round the old house and saying stuff like: “Oh God, remember when I drank loads of absinthe and smashed that window and mum stopped my pocket money for three months so she could afford to have it replaced?”
Me and Peter got to ride in the van with Liz’s boyfriend (because it was his van).
Grandma went in her car with the cushions and duvets and the others just walked there. It was the summer holidays and I had sunburn on my back from building sandcastles for four hours at the beach the day before. Mum had put loads of aftersun on it and my t-shirt was sticking to me.
When we all got to the new house and went inside Peter looked up and said: “The ceiling is so low! And there’s no room! Where am I supposed to hang my punch bag?”. Auntie Julie told Peter off and he started crying so I kicked him and then grandma went out the back and shut the door. We looked out the window and she was crying too.

We have to go to a different bus stop to get there now, too. The first time we went on our own we got on the wrong bus. We ended up by the Safeway in Blaydon and we had to call grandma from their phone to come and pick us up. She wasn’t angry and she let us get McDonalds. I got a Happy Meal and so did Peter. Grandma got an apple pie and it burnt her tongue and she said she was going to sue McDonalds but I don’t think she ever did.

Because the house is so small there is only room for one bed so we have to share- grandma, Peter and me. Actually, we slept like this in the old house anyway- all of us in grandma’s bed, even though there was another bedroom meant for us. It makes it more fun and like a sleepover. Grandma sleeps in the middle because Peter snores and if she sleeps in the middle I can’t reach over to pinch his nose until he wakes up and when he wakes up- head butt him. Grandma snores too but I would never head butt her. Grandma puts her arms around both of us and we sleep like that. Grandma snores so loudly, like a massive beast. But I would never head butt her because she’s my grandma.